My hobby is becoming a priority. I may be mad, but I can’t help but believe the Darkness will not leave us alone in this universe.
My dreams are dark. No longer do I have my mother in my dreams. Instead they are quiet, hollow, Lost. I would say forsaken, but I know it was my own choice to push the other away. That being is gone from my dreams.
The news I receive from the other side of the world is of things I saw in my own travels. Misshapen leaves, places where all are dead in their steps. Reading these reports make me think of long ago. That first village.
In these cases the people were never found. The world had swallowed their villages, their farms. How many of my people died, forgotten in places I never even knew existed?
The misshapen plants are more troubling. They seems to have been changed to something alien to our world. Animals cannot eat these plants. They die in agony. I have ordered the burning of these forests of death. Again I am the destroyer of my world, burning entire swaths of it in a mad attempt to preserve it. I have given an order to destroy any plants that look like these. But I am uneasy.
I cannot believe that this random coincidence. These misshapen poisonous things must have been left by the Darkness, but why?
Is this because of my people? Did we offend them with our resistance? Attacks upon me are problematical but I am but one Narn, easily replaced. This would be a long term attack on my people. I wish I could go back to those places I destroyed before to prove to myself that the fire would be enough to destroy these alien plants and restore the natural order.
This is an insidious problem.
As a consequence, I have retrieved the papers we took from the City of Darkness so long ago. I do not know the language on these sheets, but I must learn. I cannot continue to react to these attacks. I have to learn what motivated the Darkness.
It is a puzzle, I tell myself.
I do not like the look of the language. I feel the words. I know this makes no sense, but I cannot say it any other way. They feel so unlike Narn. So alien.
My new hobby has the danger of becoming overarching. Luckily I have G’Lan and my work otherwise I imagine that I might fall into the Darkness and lose my way out.