Today I should have risen to the occasion. I should have made the Kha’Ri go my own way. Perhaps it will not matter. I compromised. It was better than forcing it to be my own way.
My son will be going to the village along with the priestess of D’Bok. The Kha’Ri felt she was essential. I believed the Healer to be more important. He and several of his gloves.
He I can trust to not touch the sick with bare hands. He will keep the area clean. Perhaps he will have more to give the people than mumbling and Songs.
The people of this village must be concerned to send their sick so far from them. To the city itself.
Ta’Yal will have couriers with him and the Priestess. She will have a few accompanying priests.
Strange how the worship of Vas declines and the worship of Sava and D’Bok does not. Vas did not keep us safe. But birth, fertility, life and death. They stay with us. Asking the goddess for a small favor. To ensure your harvest. To bless your pregnancy. To be hale and whole.
Even death itself can be something that one looks forward to in the end. And it always comes in the end. The goddess breathed life into you. She comes back for you when you are done.
Vas had nothing to do with our creation. He created the world and the stars, but he did not create us. His only creation that speaks was Vas. Created only so that Vas could try to comprehend himself. Remove the awe created by a god and he is merely someone trying to find a mirror. Omnipotence becomes vanity within an eye blink.
So then there is Vas. Vas who paints the sky. But his main purpose was always to understand Vas. He had no interest in making an audience for his sky. It was only his child, Sava, that created the Narn and all of the creatures upon Nar’Shal. She who was created to understand Vas, but instead made us all. We die, but we return to her. Her arms are always open. In our most dire moments we pray to Sava, not Vas or Vas. It is she that we beg for life or death.
I have prayed to Sava in my moments of desperation. When all hope seemed lost.
But do I believe in these gods any longer? Do I really believe in some omnipotent artist? We always thought that we were in the hands of omnipotent beings. That their power would protect us. Maybe they would if we were important to them. We just are not important to them. Maybe it is right for us to allow their power over us to wane as a consequence.
Sava, D’Bok, neither of them have ever pretended to omnipotence. They give you their favor, but it is your own efforts that allow you success.
They leave tomorrow. Would I be too much of a hypocrite to hope that someone other than me is thinking of them and hoping for success.?