Failure

Vas’Noth is full of refugees who have fled the
Pa’Dutu.  I fear I have allowed my
indecision to make too many decisions for me.
I have gone to the Temple of D’Bok.
I have talked to Ta’Yal.  I have
been in several conversations with the Kha’Ri, advisors…  I have read and re-read Pa’Kalon’s letter.  

I believe I have failed my people.

What started in the Street of Inns has
continued.  Families, neighborhoods,
entire sections of the city are dying.  I
have ordered the gates shut.  Ta’Yal told
me to start burning parts of the city.
There is no more that can be done for these people he argues.

I hid from these horrible decisions, hoping that the
sickness would go away.  Like a
child.  Not looking so I wouldn’t have to
admit that it was happening and it is my own fault.  I should have been more decisive.  I should have pushed forward with the more
drastic choices faster.  It is my own
inadequacy that led to this day.  I may
have to burn down the entire city.  All
of Nar’Shal may die because we were not more clear-sighted.  

Because I did not take the necessary course of
action.  I should have been
resolute.  I should have done what was
necessary to save my people.

I look out the window tonight into a city full of
horrible orange flowers of death and destruction.  

Ironic after my dreams.  There is no silence.  The fires are far away, but the keening of
the mourners fills the streets.  The
angry people crying out as they watch their entire lives burn up because they
lived in the wrong place.  

I am responsible. Soon I will have to stand before
my people and admit my failure.

But tonight I sit here and watch my failure with
tears in my eyes.

Posted in babylon 5, book of g'quan, g'quan, Narns