Built Again

The last several weeks have been even busier than those prior to the election.  Left as Leader despite my failures I have humbly taken on the mantle again.  The new election made me even more adamant in my desire to improve the lives of my people. The rubble is cleared.  The dead mourned.  

Now we must rebuild. This is the capital and most of it is empty.  

It is the story of my life it seems.  The world I know is destroyed and I rebuild it.  I reshape it around the empty spaces.  Organizing it into a world that I believe is more perfect than the previous. I go to Vas’T’Ran and break its tyrannical government.  I remove the tragic traces of brutality and try to heal their sorrows.  I clean up rubble.  I mourn the dead.  I help them build a better government and prepare to join the larger society of the Kha’Ri.

I tore the social order to pieces.  I told them they didn’t need to talk to the old Gods.  They didn’t need to have a priest name their children.  They didn’t need to stay in the same Circle as their parents.  Now no child need be Lost.  A least not for a name given by a god that does not care.

I have torn down myself many times.  I have loved unwisely.  I have loved too deeply.  I have hidden love from myself simply because it was inconvenient. I have lost friends, lovers and children.  My entire family.  My legacy from my father.  My village.

I lost my innocence on a hillock in a place no one remembers.

I lost myself while covered in the blood of my people fighting for my life.

I lost my freedom the moment the War ended and I became the Leader.

I lost my naiveté as I killed Li’Fah’Zel.

I lost something even more important when Pa’Koth lay dead at my feet.  But I am too old and feeble to remember which it was at this time.  My heart? My soul?  The last piece of tenderness I had left?

Each time I had to be rebuilt.  Maybe not out of clean white stone.  Maybe of sterner stuff.  I still have love in my heart.  I still have the moments of purity as I watch the sun rise or sit among the flowers.  I still have the ability to decide my fate. I still have the wonder of the stars in the sky.  

We will be destroyed from time to time.  This is inevitable.  Be the cause ourselves or the Other.  We will fall to pieces, seeming unable to ever become whole again.  Even if our white stone is crushed to the coarsest sand we will rebuild.  From sand we will make bricks and cobbles.   We will fill in all the empty spaces.  We will not be the original, but we will maintain.

This is the gift of my people.  Our virtue. We will never give up.  We will always rise from the ashes.  We will rebuild.

Posted in babylon 5, book of g'quan, g'kar, g'quan, Garibaldi, Narns