Category: tfln

I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has “USDA PRIME” tattooed on his ass

Don’t tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.

I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.


His ex told me that she wanted me to “take care of” him but from the way she said it I couldn’t tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.

Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you’ve dug for yourself. asking for a friend

I don’t just want drugs. I deserve drugs.

I never imagine I’d say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?

Don’t put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.

The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound