(201):
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has “USDA PRIME” tattooed on his ass
(813):
His ex told me that she wanted me to “take care of” him but from the way she said it I couldn’t tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
(414):
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you’ve dug for yourself. asking for a friend
(707):
I never imagine I’d say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
(501):
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound